Yesterday was no different than any other Sunday. We were in the swing of things and ready to head out the door at 12:30. We sat through our meeting trying to listen to the speakers while handing out coloring pages and crayons, books to read, toy cars to drive, paper for writing notes, and gum and mints to those who were reverent. One more Sunday meeting down without strangling anyone. Ah, sweet success.
The Man takes Mini Man off to class while I take Miss Priss and DC down to Primary. I linger at the door trying not to be seen while I make sure that DC actually goes to her seat and ... stays. She peeks back at the door to see if I'm there, and I've been spotted. I back away quickly and wait for a couple of minutes before checking one last time. Crud. She's now in tears and sitting on the lap of Sis. N. I ask if I should take her, but I'm given a sign that everything will be fine, and they'll come find me if they need me. So I leave.
I begin walking down the hallway on my way to find my dear husband to join him for Sunday school. And I've got no kids in tow. My favorite kind of walk. I'm saying hi to everyone I pass, and stopping to chat with a couple of friends along the way, when I turn a corner and spot one of my favorite babysitters who has recently returned home from a 5-month study in Japan. She's roaming the halls with one of the young men in our ward (who I'm now wondering if she's dating. Hmmm. I'll have to find out about that one.) So I yell, "You're back!" but not too loudly -- we are in church, after all. The sweet thing tells me how great I look, and asks how I got so skinny. Did I mention she's my favorite babysitter? I laugh at her ridiculous comment as we meet to hug. We visit for a minute or two, and then I let her continue on with FW while I head down to my class.
But something struck me as we hugged. Something wasn't quite right. And since I was now alone in the hallway, I started to "check" myself. As I'm looking and feeling around, I discover the problem. OH. MY. GOSH. I check again. Nope, there's no underwire where there's usually underwire. Nope, there's no straps on my shoulders where there's usually straps on my shoulders. How on earth did this happen? How in the world could I have forgotten this??? I suppose with all the layers upon layers I put on (first my, um, unmentionables, then a shade tank, then my regular shirt), I guess I forgot one extremely important article of clothing. My BRA!!!
Now, some of you tiny, petite women I know may be thinking, "What's the big deal?" Maybe some of you even do that on purpose sometimes. But consider for a moment that at one point in my life I considered a breast reduction. Also consider that after nursing three children, gravity has not been kind, to say the least. Yes, ladies, my ladies have seen better days. And now, I'm afraid, a few of you out there have seen me in all my liberating sagginess. I could just die.
So I'm now laughing out loud at myself as I casually decide to hold my bag at the top of my shoulder with both hands, so as to cover up my chest. I pull The Man out of his classroom and stop myself from laughing just long enough to tell him what an idiot I am, and that I'm going home to remedy the problem. He laughs, hands me Mini Man and says, "Take him with you so I can enjoy the class." I happily accept my new cover-up and head out to the car, still laughing at myself and wondering how many people noticed.
Embarrassing Moment #2,783 - Being caught out in public without a bra.
Can anyone beat that?
10 comments:
Oh my gosh, I am still laughing! This could NEVER happen to me, seriously, despite all those distractions, kids, hair, Sunday clothes...I could never forget my bra! This says more about my body than it does yours, you apparently have lost more than a little weight you lucky girl, I'd give anything to drop a letter or two (D, DD, F!) One of your best stories ever...love it, love it!
I think I've seen you in all your liberatingness, maybe not saggy, but none the less, many of us women can relate to that. That is quite the story, but it must not have been that bad if even The Man didn't notice.
I have to say you have quite the routine down for church. Glen has the same meetings, church at the same time as you guys, plus you have one extra and still we are late 90% of the time. I need to come take some organization lessons.
I had quite the embarrassing moment happen to me at church also. What is it with church? I got up to nurse Bess and someone was sitting on my skirt and I kept walking pulled it down to my knees, good thing we were sitting all the way in the front so the whole congregation behind me could see! Sheesh good thing it wasn't my ward and my sisters!! Ahh..the things we do as mothers.
That is a good one! "The girls" must have needed a breather. I don't think I can top that one, but I have (recently) been at church and noticed during second hour that I forgot to shave my legs-and yeah, it had been awhile. Oh well. We're all there to gain eternal perspective, right? Going braless and unshaved legs will probably not make the list of things we're concerned about-I hope!
Girl, you should have stayed! We would have loved to hear you sharing your story in RS during the "good news minute." :P The good news would have been, "I'm blessed and I'm proud!" Believe me, I'm so flat chested, I would have considered that a good news worthy of mention. LOVE it~~LOL!!!
HOW embarrassing! Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've done the same thing before!
I just came across your blog and that is HILARIOUS! I didn't notice and you sat in front of us! So Funny, thanks for making me laugh!:)
I too have concidered a reduction... they are just too gross! They aren't quite as saggy, since I only have one child, but non-the-less, still not like when I was 25. I don't have too many embarassing stories. I guess I'm not one to embarrase easily. Good times, though. That's awesome!
That is a tough one to beat! Man, I would have died. Girls who have not been as blessed as we are in the breastal area will never understand, but that is like leaving the house naked. I have nightmares! Yikes! Hey, I wonder if your babysitter thinks you're a pervert now! Haha!
WOW, that was highly entertaining! I need to come see you so we can laugh together. :)
Oh My Gosh! That is Too funny!!!
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